Girl Scout Cookie Gluttony

My niece is adorable, but clearly the devil incarnate.

Don’t let that face of a cherub mislead you. She comes bearing bogus treats in the form of thirty more minutes on the treadmill per cookie per day.

All I have to say is I’m glad Girl Scout Cookie season over. Though two boxes still sit in my bread box unopened, I made short business of the first two. (Yes, I have a bread box. And, no, you shouldn’t hide Girls Scout cookies in the bread box. Any time you want a piece of toast or a sandwich you see them and they taunt you. They talk. I swear they talk. Seductively, too.)

My 10-year-old niece is quite clever at sales. That smile, those batting eyes: “Pleeeeeezzzzzze, Uncle?” But just because they are $5 a box, doesn’t mean you must buy four boxes to make it an even 20 bucks—unless you want to spend the next six weeks cursing at a stair climber like me.

Buy one box and give your Girl Scout the other $15 bucks with your blessing to donate it to the Girl Scouts’ cause—or spend it on whatever she wants. It’ll save you days at the gym, and instead of treadmilling for Jesus you can do something productive…like lament about the evils of cookies on a blog when you should be working.

Wood’s words of advice: Eat fruit.